I’d show you a picture of an empty board today, but to be honest the puzzle that was in progress three days ago is still sitting there. It is complete, but it’s still on the board and I haven’t started anything else. 😐
To be completely honest, I’m in the middle of a major depressive funk that has me doing almost nothing all day long. Usually I don’t discuss things like this, but I think part of the problem with mental health issues is that we don’t discuss them – and I’ve seriously had enough of pretending to be happy and positive all the time.
Many of us around the world have depression, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having it or admitting we have it. By talking about it, we find out that although it may seem as though we’re alone – we are not. And also that having depression or anxiety isn’t a failing, it doesn’t make you weak, it doesn’t mean you’re a “mental case”; it just means that you’re human and you may have a chemical imbalance. Just because you put the word “mental” in front of “illness” doesn’t mean you’re crazy.
I’m not crazy. I may love jigsaw puzzles to an almost unhealthy degree, but I am not crazy. I’m depressed. I have serious anxiety problems – still not crazy.
A couple of years ago I developed an “electrical problem” in my heart. It caused a serious rapid heartbeat called tachycardia that had me hospitalized twice and in jeopardy of having a heart attack or a stroke. Since then I’ve had to take medication to keep the electrical system in my heart working properly; the only problem is that it cannot be taken with antidepressants. I’d been on antidepressants for many years, but in the choice between being less depressed and having a heartbeat – you can imagine which one I chose.
So, with the changes in pain medications that cause me serious problems and more pain, the world in the midst of a pandemic costing many lives, and a host of other small things – I’m having an extremely tough time right now. And if we don’t talk about things like being anxious or depressed – or both – things aren’t ever going to change or get better.
So instead of telling you what’s in progress today and pretending that all is well; I’m telling you that all is not well, nothing is in progress, and I am just doing the best I can.