Such a Struggle!

man using laptop on table against white background

I’ve been trying for an hour to set up my new computer and get myself onto my blog, and I gotta tell ya – frustrated isn’t quite a harsh enough word for my feelings. My struggle to get myself to the place where I was logged in to WordPress and able to get onto my site has probably caused quite a rise in my blood pressure. My cardiologist would not be happy.

Anyway, I’m finally here and ready to get today’s post up, and afterwards I cross my heart that I will – at last – get my butt back to the table and start a new puzzle. I need to get myself there for many reasons, not the least of which is lowering my blood pressure back to acceptable levels. 😉

Since I finished the Wizard of Oz puzzle I have not put together any puzzle pieces at all. Anxiety, depression, pain, exhaustion have all played their roles in keeping me out of the puzzle room. And I now find myself overwhelmed by the thought of starting any puzzle larger than 300 pieces.

When I finished the Oz puzzle I chose a 1000 piece collage that was to be next; it sat on the board for a couple of days, then my daughter and I spent the weekend making masks, and then I spent Monday and Tuesday doing absolutely nothing. Now, the thought of starting that collage I’d previously chosen makes me uneasy. I don’t know how to describe it to those who haven’t dealt with anxiety, but it feels awful; racing heart, taking deep breaths and taking them too quickly, a sense of dread, a pressure in my chest, etc. – in short, it really, really sucks.

And so, because of that, the next puzzle will be a 200 piece kids puzzle, and then, perhaps a 300 piece; and we’ll see how it goes from there. You might want to get used to seeing smaller piece counts for a while, because that seems to be as much as I can handle at the moment.

So here’s to hoping I can get used to how this new computer works, and happy puzzling today for all of us!

13 thoughts on “Such a Struggle!

  1. Marleen Smallegange

    Yeah I have been there, anxiety sucks. Dreading something you know you have been looking forward to. Always trying to find a balance between not letting go too easy and not pushing yourself too hard. You will get there and that collage will be waiting for you to enjoy when you can.

    I am working on an Eeboo collage at the moment of firecrackerwrappers. Bright colours, lots of writing, English and Chinese, and a wide variety of figures and animals. I think you would like it.

    Take care and hang in there. And remember what you know, collages can seem daunting at times, but they are oh so kind and rewarding. Piece by piece.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Amy

    Hi Stacey, I have a feeling more people are becoming familiar with anxiety and its many attendantt and related issues. Of course I once again stand firmly in the “self compassion” corner. Just know that sometimes every little thing accomplished is a victory, every little thing.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Penny Weiss

    I loved everyone’s comme ts on this post and some really great thi gs to remember! I need to write these down for my 10-year-old son who is super high anxiety as well. Thanks ladies!

    Liked by 1 person

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