If Only…

Today’s mood…

This blog has always been only about puzzles. I don’t talk about religion or politics or anything other than puzzles and my puzzling. Today though, I’m feeling as sad as this handsome puppy looks, and feeling the need to share a bit. It’s partly about puzzling, I suppose, as it affects my ability to work on my puzzles. 

My recent surgery was supposed to help with my pain. If only… 😦

The surgery only provided a small amount of relief, and not nearly as much as the doctors and I had hoped. It was the trial of a device, and it’s since been removed; so even the small reduction in pain is gone.

You tell the doctors and the people around that you’re not getting your hopes up and you have realistic expectations – but deep down you’re hoping to be one of those lucky people who gets an enormous amount of benefit and feel almost like their old selves again. It’s depressing and frustrating and a gigantic letdown when it doesn’t work for you. It’s been years now, and this was sort of the “last hope” – something doctors do as a last resort when all other traditional remedies haven’t worked. For many it’s extremely beneficial, for me it was more painful than I expected, with less than hoped for results. I don’t know where we go from here, I’m hesitant to try any other therapies and contraptions; they get more and more invasive and scary (at least for me).

So from here I’ll try to be as thankful as I can be that I still have some mobility, and that I’m still able to puzzle. I can sit for a while or lay in bed and become engrossed in a puzzle, enjoy the feeling of holding a piece in my hand while I contemplate it’s placement, and enjoy the benefits of my meditative state of mind while I work on reassembling a beautiful image that’s been cut into little pieces. I have this blog where I’m able to talk about my puzzles, hear from puzzle friends in the comments, and have a somewhat creative outlet – even if it’s only about jigsaw puzzles. 

I always try to be upbeat in my posts, even when my feelings that day aren’t upbeat at all; but I needed to vent a little today, as I’m dealing with my disappointment. Tomorrow’s post, however, will be much less depressing (and more about puzzles) – I promise! 🙂

*Tomorrow’s puzzle will also include that sweet doggie shown above – I love his sad little face!

12 thoughts on “If Only…

  1. Merylee Robinson

    Oh Stacey, I’m so sorry to hear all this. And to think it been going on for years. I wish it wasn’t so! And amid all your pain you give so much pleasure to your followers. Thank you honey. Everyone’s love is coming at you if that’s any comfort. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Penny Allenbaugh Weiss

    Stacey, I’m so sorry to hear this latest treatment did not work as you had hoped. Is there any type of surgery…even though it’s obviously very invasive…that could help your situation to get better? I’m not sure if it’s your back, hips or legs that are affected, but many advances in surgery for these areas have been made in recent years.

    You are such a trooper, and as others have mentioned, I too LOVE your blog. I look forward to reading it everyday, and everyday you manage to put aside your pain and emotional state in order to bring all of your followers a great blog entry. We are grateful to you for that, and hope you can take some comfort in knowing that in spite of the pain, you have numerous friends (even if they are virtual) who are praying and hoping there will be some relief in site for you soon.

    Keep smiling Stacey! We love you…..


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Penny, you are so very sweet!

      It’s a very long story, but basically there’s not much more they can do as I’ve been told. I’ve got another appointment after Thanksgiving to see if there’s anything left to try. I’m not holding out much hope, but we shall see.

      Thanks again for being so nice! 🙂


  3. I’m so sorry to hear you are in pain and may continue to be so! I hope you will find some relief soon. I’m currently reading through your blog from the start, and I love it! Sending you good thoughts from Finland.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ellen LoGiudice

    Stacey dear,
    i am so sorry this latest treatment did not help you. I wish I could reach through the computer and give you a big hug but I can sent my wishes and hopes for improvement of your condition.

    You have so many friends who are wishing you well. Thank you for such an entertaining blog! I look forward to it every day.

    Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your great family!


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