July 2019 – Page 2 – My Jigsaw Journal

So I put together a 300 piece puzzle on Wednesday, and yesterday I put together four 27 piece 3D Christmas ornament puzzles. I have to say that it wasn’t as terrible as I thought it would be.

At the beginning, before I start working, thoughts of mom and puzzling with her pop up – but as I get engrossed in the assembly I find that the focus is solely on the pieces and how they fit together. When I finished is when it was the most difficult for me, as that’s the time I would send mom a picture or a text and show her the finished puzzle; we would talk about it and what I was going to do next. I’m going to miss that so very much.

I’m thankful that the almost meditative state that jigsaw puzzling brings to me is still intact; and that even though I’m sad I can no longer sit with her at my puzzle table, jigsaw puzzles are still able to help me de-stress and turn off my brain for a while. I’ve never needed to stop thinking more than I do right now.

The most amazing, wonderful, sweet, loving and generous woman I’ve ever known is gone and I am heartbroken beyond imagining. Mom passed away on Sunday, July 14, 2019 while my father, my daughter and I held her hands and told her how much she was loved.

I am grateful that she is no longer in pain or suffering in any way, but devastated for my family and all those she loved and cared for. The loss is immeasurable and our sadness is overwhelming.

My regular readers and puzzle friends know how much she meant to me, and how much fun mom and I had puzzling together. She was my black belt thrift store shopper who helped supply us both with the jigsaw puzzles we loved so much, and loved assembling together. I haven’t touched a puzzle piece in almost 2 months, but when I finally do settle back into the normal routine of life, jigsaw puzzles will be tinged with sadness for me – we shared such a love for them that they will always remind me of her and the time we spent over jigsaw puzzles talking, laughing, teasing, cussing, and enjoying being together.

Looking back now, I am so blessed to have given her the Mystery Puzzle Box last Christmas – it allowed us to spend even more time together than we normally did this year – and I will cherish every moment we had. We spent hours and hours over that puzzle enjoying each other’s company, talking about everything and nothing, and having an awesome time; it turns out that even though the Christmas present was for her, what I also gave myself was extra time with mom in the last few months of her life. I am unbelievably grateful we shared those moments together.

In addition, this blog is also like a diary of our puzzle adventures together, and I am able to go back and read through old posts and see the puzzles we assembled and how much fun we were having. How awesome it is to have this record of those times we shared. 💕

I will get back to puzzling, posting, and reviewing in the near future, including a post about our last puzzle together. For the moment though, I am mourning my mother, my children’s favorite grandmother, my best friend, and the most important member of my puzzle posse. I love you to puzzle pieces mom, and my heart will never be put back together completely – a large piece is now missing.